Gossip Bois Review/Recap  7/17/09

[Disclaimer:  The review you're about to read is the opinion of I, Shenna Nanette and should not be taken as more than just that.  I'd like to thank Linn of 3minds for granting me privilege to do so.  If time permits, I’ll do more reviews.  Overall, I think this has been the best gossip Bois thus far.]

The original topic was “The struggles of being an Aggressive in the workplace,” however, I felt “Feminine” lesbians also experience hardships, although more internal, so I voiced my opinion to 3minds and they were willing to include it.  A lot of aggressive lesbian women settle for jobs in security, overnight shipment, delivery, and other jobs where their “attire” doesn’t require a makeover.  Higher education is sometimes not deemed a priority as most assume this “male dominated” world won’t accept a woman in a man’s suit.  Here’s a breakdown of the episode via category:

Before the interview:  Oversized clothes are not acceptable, even in retail.   A man’s suit is not tolerable for a woman.  Most companies look for a navy knee-length skirt with a matching jacket, stockings, black pumps, and a white button up collared shirt.  However, as times are changing, blue slacks are also an option.  Yet, these pants should be fitted, not tight nor baggy.  

After you get the job: Your attire should be fitted, (neither extremely baggy nor tight) as you are a representative of the company you work for.   You’re continuously being critiqued by the way you portray yourself.  It will make or break you!  Your character contributes to promotion in the workplace.  This also affects future business endeavors via references and/or reviews.

When you’re off:  This is when you retreat to your comfort zone whether it be baggy jeans or tight dresses.

Final Statement:  I’m not suggesting you change who you are as a person.  It doesn’t matter if you’re the CEO or even janitor, you should always be PROFESSIONAL and think “Business Like.”

What are the struggles??

Overall, I think the episode went well, although it didn’t elaborate issues faced while in the workplace based on preference.  The internal issues face can sometimes be more intense than external.  

 As someone considered a “feminine” lesbian, I can only speak on behalf of myself.  In the workplace, feminine lesbians often “pass” as straight.  Sometimes it’s the best thing to do.  “Fake it until you make it?”   Men flirt and make numerous unresponsive passes.  Straight women talk about their husbands, boyfriends, and significant others freely.  Feminine women often to avoid the volunteered, ”I’m in a relationship, dating, etc.” statements as the 101 personal questions come including, “What’s his name?”  “Where did you meet him?” follow.  When asked if involved, the answer is usually yes to avoid the never-ending “so why are you a lesbian?” conversations.  We answer to him wishing we could say her.  It’s not that we’re ashamed or denying who we are. We’d rather avoid the “Well you didn’t ask if I was a lesbian” or the “Don’t ask, don’t tell and it’s none of your business” theories. Feminine women, although “out” at home and amongst friends, are often “closeted in the workplace, as the option of being judged is avoided.  We tend to privatize our lives at work.  All business, no pleasure!

As an observer of “Aggressive” lesbians in the workplace, one may presume they’re obviously gay.  However, their workplace lives aren’t as private, as assumptions don’t require questions.  Some volunteer their relationships with women without being asked.  Aggressive women display more comfort in their orientation in the workplace.

In closing, you should live your life outside of a box.  Before your orientation, label, and gender, you’re human.  In the workplace, you should always maintain a “Business Like” attitude.  Never mix business with pleasure.  Stop being defined by your orientation, because your clothes don’t make you at all.  You never know how far you can go if you lived outside of a “box.”  “If all lesbians suddenly turned purple today, society would be surprised at the number of purple people in high places.”  Sidney Abbott & Barbara Love, Sappho was a right-on woman, 1972

Random Question/Thought:  They say, “Sometimes you need to dress the part to make it…”  Does dressing the part make you a sell-out?   Does not dressing part restrict you?   Does your “Pride” limit how far you’re willing to go?

As always,

LIVE|laugh|LIVE|love|LIVE!!

Shenna Nanette

[If you’d like to see this episode, please visit www.my3minds.com]