…. In the Lesbian Community…

Gossip Bois Recap [plus] 7/24/09

[Disclaimer:  The review/recap you're about to read is the opinion of me, Shenna Nanette and should not be taken as more than just that.  It's been confirmed that this will be considered The Aftershow.  Do you want to be involved?  Details at the bottom...]

This week’s episode was a heavy topic and exposed what most individuals in the LGBTQ [lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer] community consider “fair play.”  Before this continues, allow me to ask one question, “Does being a member of the LGBTQ community grant you a free pass to dispatch judgment on other LGBTQ individuals?”  Before you answer, grant me privilege to enlighten you on this subject.

First things first, for those unaware of the definition :  Discrimination  \dis-ˌkri-mə-ˈnā-shən\ (noun) – unfair treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing belongs rather than on individual merit

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s visit 3 different types of discrimination within the lesbian community:

1. Lesbian vs. Lesbian - A lot of lesbians identify themselves as “labels” [femme, femme-aggressive, stud, dom, butch, lipstick lesbian, aggressive-femme, etc.], but in this segment we’ll just stick to feminine [the submissive] and aggressive [the dominant.]  I state that first, so you as an outsider will further understand what I mean.   This category requires further dissection.

 Aggressive on Aggressive relationship- This is considered the ultimate NO in the lesbian community.  This is often frowned upon and called “gay.”  But, this “gay” isn’t happy gay, or positive gay.   These two individuals involved are STILL women.  They’ve chosen to be mature and see things passed clothes, beyond labels, and for what’s inside.  Why is this so bad?  Does this discredit their lesbianism?  Are we feeding into “straight” roles?

Feminine on Feminine relationships- This is not frowned on as much, but still experiences discrimination.  Some call it a fake relationship implying that someone more aggressive is needed.  These couples are often considered “fake lesbians” and/or “experimental lesbians.”  Once again, why is it bad when the individuals are willing to look beyond the outer shell for love?

Neither aggressive nor feminine enough- A woman who loves women should be seen as that and nothing more.  In the community someone’s lesbianism comes into question by the clothes she wears and it’s expected that her demeanor fits her mask.  A lesbian’s aggressiveness means more than her love for women in general.  I don’t want to get too graphic in this subject, but a woman who invites penetration does not make her less or more than someone who doesn’t.  At the end of the day she’s STILL a woman.  In the lesbian community, one’s “aggressiveness” holds more power than being a lesbian in general.  Are we no longer lesbians?  Should our orientation now be “aggressive” or “feminine?”

2. Lesbian vs. Bisexual- This one is the biggest problem in the LGBTQ community.  Most lesbians are disgusted by bisexual women and aren’t afraid nor ashamed to voice it.  Bisexuals are often viewed as disgusting, selfish, and just a “no way” to lesbian women.  However, this is discrimination.  Bisexuals are still a part of the LGBTQ community, or did we forget there was a “B” involved.   They’re considered outsiders.  Believe it or not, there are people who love people regardless of gender and are selfless when involved in that relationship.  LET ME STATE EVERYONE HAS A PREFERENCE!  What gives you the right to judge someone just because you don’t agree with their lifestyle?

3.  Lesbian vs. Transgender – This too is a heavy issue, however, recent as its being exposed more than before.  Lesbians judge transgendered male to female because they feel it’s different.  As of recent, more female to male transitions are becoming exposed and they too are facing a lot of discrimination, especially from lesbian women.  They’re judged because they were once seen and/or identified as “aggressive” and in rare instances “feminine” women.  We discredit their “manhood” based on what we used to know.  However, were they ever women?  In most cases no!  They were born and labeled female but have always been men.  I won’t go further into this, but this topic will be revisited  from a transgendered individual, first person view.  But allow me to state, there’s also a “T’ in LGBTQ.  In case you’re unaware, it was Transgendered individuals who fought back in the Stonewall Riots.   They’re the reason and a big contributor to the birth of gay rights movement.

 There are more types of discrimination, but that will require a book or maybe a panel discussion.  The 3 stated are the biggest forms of LGBTQ on LGBTQ discrimination in the lesbian community.  

In closing, discrimination can’t be sugarcoated, nor okay for one and a crime for another.  Discrimination is Discrimination!  There’s no such thing as positive discrimination.  With that being said, let’s revisit the posed question, “Does being a member of the LGBTQ community grant you a free pass to dispatch judgment on other LGBTQ individuals?”  My answer is NO!  What’s yours? 

Random Question/Thought:   As an activist for the LGBTQ community, I detest this discrimination especially in the lesbian community.  For a community being judged, ridiculed, and frowned upon daily, it saddens me that we contribute to negative views.   We fight for equality yet we have no unity.  How can we possibly say we want the right to marry but we don’t even respect our own community?   Are we in glass houses throwing stones?

Would you like to be involved?  Do you have questions left answered after watching the show or even reading the blog?  Gossip Bois and I want to include you in what we do as you’re the reason we do this.  If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, email info@shennananette.com with the word “Aftershow” in the subject line.  I’ll post your questions, comments, and concerns on the blog.  

As always,

LIVE|laugh|LIVE|love|LIVE!!

Shenna Nanette

 If you missed this week’s episode and/or would like to see all episodes of Gossip Bois, click here